About Me

Kent, United Kingdom
I have the perfect family but still struggle to find the light in the darkness of post-natal depression.

Saturday, 15 November 2008

Gloves - woolly and kid!

We've had a lovely morning, which surprised me.
After all, on paper it looked like being a disaster. I was out with friends last night and consumed a bottle of wine, topped off with a Baileys, and felt awful when I woke up. Add the fact that Mark is working today and I'm stressing about job interviews and preparing for them and it should have been one of those days best forgotten.
But actually I think we did very well. I managed to get up, showered and dressed before Tasha woke and haven't even resorted to the electronic babysitter so conveniently provided by her favourite DVD. Instead, we've been enjoying the autumn weather in the garden of her granny's house, which is packed with outdoor toys, and in the park. And we've even managed to get some chores done! I didn't manage to convince her to keep her gloves on, so any tips welcome.
Which brings me on to the subject of the other kind of gloves, after the points made on the last post.
Do I think I should be handled with kid/velvet/any other kind of gloves? My immediate response is no. But then why do I bother telling people about PND if I don't want it to make a difference?
Part of the reason is to raise awareness generally and convey the message that it's okay to admit you have had mental health problems. But of course there are more selfish reasons too. Maybe one of those is a sort of safety net - so if I suggest meeting up people are less likely to turn me down because I might go mental?
I certainly don't think people should censor what they say in case their comment happens to be the one that I end up pondering at 3am. I genuinely welcome all comments, whether or not I might perceive them in a negative fashion. And actually when I do it's quite helpful because it teaches me to use my mindfulness, or wise mind, or whatever you want to call it, to work out whether that perception is based on fact or my scheming schemas.
I fear this is turning into a ramble, and I know I should be doing other things, like preparing a presentation for an interview on Monday. But I hope it helps as some starting thoughts - more comments? ; )

1 comment:

me-again said...

I never kept my gloves on either :-)

Doesn't it partly depend on the difference you want it to make (and I think you've identified those)? I don't think you should be pussyfooted round (I'm staying away from gloves!) in the "poor dear, let's just humour her" way. That's too hard for/on you (you're bound to sense it) and too hard for/on your correspondents/friends/family (stifles spontaneity (that's a b* of a word to spell when you're tired!) and risks interactions being horribly stilted). However I do think that we (your readers etc.) can be aware that sometimes you may read into a comment, or something that happens, something that other people might not. To borrow your term, it may be whether we/you/they are using wise minds or not at the time; we can all read more into something than the originator meant!

Maybe overall it's more a case of remembering that different people see things differently refracted (different glasses) and taking account of that, sometimes maybe more than others. And that, of course, is applicable to all of us for all of us (especially those of us, and I certainly count myself in here, liable to react too swiftly to something that 'pushes a button').

If that made any sense at all (see tired!). Feel free to nag, or stare hard at, me the next time you see me if you want!

And now I'm off to try and add something to my collecting habit!