Merry Christmas to all my lovely readers - I do hope it has been good for you. Although I do know that for some of you it has been entirely the opposite. And it's fair to say it hasn't been one of the best here either.
But a new year is approaching, and I have every hope it will be a positive fresh start filled with love and laughter.
And with that in mind, this post marks the end of an era. I have decided it will be the last one for the foreseeable future here. Real life developments mean it no longer feels appropriate to post here, and many of the issues I have posted/ranted about are no longer relevant.
I will leave the blog up as a resource for those of you who have found it helpful, and for any in the future who may do so, but I don't expect to be posting here again.
I will be writing elsewhere, of course, because that is what I do, so maybe our paths will cross in cyberspace again.
In the meantime, thank you for sharing this journey with me, for your support and for reading my waffle. I have learnt a lot in the years I have been writing here, and I have learnt a lot from your comments, which shone like a beacon through some very dark times.
I wish you all peace and happiness in the future.
Showing posts with label lessons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lessons. Show all posts
Monday, 26 December 2011
Friday, 10 April 2009
An end to the catastrophising?
But another excuse to use that word!
So we survived our afternoon, mostly. The chores were completed, the plants were planted and there was another witching hour strop but without the shouting from me this time.
I'm almost glad she had another meltdown moment because although it was, as it usually is, difficult to deal with, at least it showed I could deal with it without heading for the hills.
Since then, things have returned to a calmer state (on my part, at least - she is definitely demonstrating her two-year-old frustrations and opinions!), perhaps because Mark took a day off and is not back at work until Tuesday.
I am trying to remind myself of an important lesson that I had forgotten, that of picking your battles. It does help when I find myself saying no for the 50th time in a day...
And, it has to be said, I do feel a bit foolish for my over-reaction, or indeed, catastrophising, of the shouting incident. But that's how I felt at the time and I have little control over that, as I think I demonstrated!
Another companion of that good old black dog seems to be neediness - whenever he is around and the fog descends I need reassurance, and I need it quickly! I have been known to post on internet forums and then sit there refreshing and refreshing the page waiting for someone to reply. And if they don't within, oh, about five minutes, I have even posted again, reiterating whatever crisis I am having.
I'm not proud of it, I'm not proud of any of it, but I do accept it and I hope that helps in dealing with it.
Oh well, at least this latest episode has ensured a return to the central theme of this blog, which I hope will hope any new readers who may have wondered why they were here.
But for my sake, I hope the calm stretch lasts a bit so I can return to fluffier blogging!
So we survived our afternoon, mostly. The chores were completed, the plants were planted and there was another witching hour strop but without the shouting from me this time.
I'm almost glad she had another meltdown moment because although it was, as it usually is, difficult to deal with, at least it showed I could deal with it without heading for the hills.
Since then, things have returned to a calmer state (on my part, at least - she is definitely demonstrating her two-year-old frustrations and opinions!), perhaps because Mark took a day off and is not back at work until Tuesday.
I am trying to remind myself of an important lesson that I had forgotten, that of picking your battles. It does help when I find myself saying no for the 50th time in a day...
And, it has to be said, I do feel a bit foolish for my over-reaction, or indeed, catastrophising, of the shouting incident. But that's how I felt at the time and I have little control over that, as I think I demonstrated!
Another companion of that good old black dog seems to be neediness - whenever he is around and the fog descends I need reassurance, and I need it quickly! I have been known to post on internet forums and then sit there refreshing and refreshing the page waiting for someone to reply. And if they don't within, oh, about five minutes, I have even posted again, reiterating whatever crisis I am having.
I'm not proud of it, I'm not proud of any of it, but I do accept it and I hope that helps in dealing with it.
Oh well, at least this latest episode has ensured a return to the central theme of this blog, which I hope will hope any new readers who may have wondered why they were here.
But for my sake, I hope the calm stretch lasts a bit so I can return to fluffier blogging!
Sunday, 29 March 2009
Lessons
I'm learning some interesting lessons lately.
Of course, the first is that life is too short. And precious. Miss T has been poorly and although it was highly unpleasant, as winter vomiting virus usually is, it was never really serious.
But that didn't stop Mark and I worrying, and checking on her more than we needed to. I've learnt it can all end so suddenly, and I don't think that knowledge will ever really go.
I've also learnt that sometimes I don't want what I think I do. I'm sure that makes no sense, and I apologise - despite my best efforts at disinfecting etc Miss T seems to have shared her germs with me so I'm not on top form. But am I ever?
Anyway, that last lesson is job related. I missed out on a job that I thought was mine, and that I thought I desperately wanted. But after a wise friend questioned whether I did actually want it, I realised I probably didn't. I wanted it because it was a job, and because of all that represents, eg a regular income etc, and because it seemed it was so nearly within my reach.
But the job itself wasn't ideal, with hardly any opportunity for writing, and with colleagues who I know would have ended up making the position a nightmare.
So I can now accept it wasn't meant to be, and keep looking for something that is. Whatever that may be.
I've learnt that I still want to rescue people, and I can't bear people feeling sad or stressed, but I'm learning that I can't always fix it. Sometimes people have to help themselves first. And all I can do is be there to offer support, not to put the pieces back together for them.
I'm learning to say no as well, but that lesson could take a while!
Of course, the first is that life is too short. And precious. Miss T has been poorly and although it was highly unpleasant, as winter vomiting virus usually is, it was never really serious.
But that didn't stop Mark and I worrying, and checking on her more than we needed to. I've learnt it can all end so suddenly, and I don't think that knowledge will ever really go.
I've also learnt that sometimes I don't want what I think I do. I'm sure that makes no sense, and I apologise - despite my best efforts at disinfecting etc Miss T seems to have shared her germs with me so I'm not on top form. But am I ever?
Anyway, that last lesson is job related. I missed out on a job that I thought was mine, and that I thought I desperately wanted. But after a wise friend questioned whether I did actually want it, I realised I probably didn't. I wanted it because it was a job, and because of all that represents, eg a regular income etc, and because it seemed it was so nearly within my reach.
But the job itself wasn't ideal, with hardly any opportunity for writing, and with colleagues who I know would have ended up making the position a nightmare.
So I can now accept it wasn't meant to be, and keep looking for something that is. Whatever that may be.
I've learnt that I still want to rescue people, and I can't bear people feeling sad or stressed, but I'm learning that I can't always fix it. Sometimes people have to help themselves first. And all I can do is be there to offer support, not to put the pieces back together for them.
I'm learning to say no as well, but that lesson could take a while!
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