About Me

Kent, United Kingdom
I have the perfect family but still struggle to find the light in the darkness of post-natal depression.

Monday, 23 March 2009

Now I get it...

....when people say things like "Cheer up, it could be worse...."
Because I've had an insight into how terrible things can be, and I don't like it.
And I'm definitely grateful for what I have.
I'm grateful I could spend mother's day with my child (or at least part of it - we did disappear for the weekend, but that's another story!)
I'm grateful that the next thing I have to organise is a birthday party, not a funeral.
I'm even grateful that I just had to go upstairs and stop writing this entry, because it means my child is safe and well at home.
Sadly one of my friends cannot say the same about his son, who died suddenly on Friday aged just 16.
One day they were excited about a family holiday to America and arguing about spending money, then a few days later he was dead.
I don't understand how that can be. How can someone so fit and so popular be gone? How is his mother supposed to ever celebrate mother's day again? How is his sister supposed to adjust to life as an only child when her whole life has been spent as a sibling?
He will never get married, have children, have a career. He won't travel the world, buy a house, or go to uni. He won't grow old. How? Why?
I don't know any of the answers. But I do know that if I have learnt anything from this whole horrible tragedy, it's that life is too short. Who cares about whether you're a perfect parent, or someone else's child can identify a circle and a square? Who cares if Miss T is not ready for potty training while my friend's children are?
I don't.
But I do care that I still have her, she still has me and we can enjoy our time together.
Because I don't know how long it will last.

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