About Me

Kent, United Kingdom
I have the perfect family but still struggle to find the light in the darkness of post-natal depression.

Monday, 11 August 2008

supermums and how to survive them...

Apologies for those wanting one of my quick updates - I keep forgetting to do them!
So for the last entry, it was tearful moments 1; friends squeezed in 3.
And since then, tearful moments 1, friends squeezed in 1 - plus assorted relatives! Quite a lot of relatives, in fact...and I managed to avoid catering for them all again which makes it even more enjoyable!
Writing down the amount of tearful moments like that can look a bit bleak, which is how I felt a few days ago. But actually, it's still a huge improvement and that's what I want to focus on. Even a year ago they would have been in double figures...
So...those supermums! Well, over the weekend I decided there were two strategies to deal with them. One was to avoid all parents of children around Tasha's age for quite some time, and the other is just to learn from them and let Tash do the same.
Option one did look quite appealing for a while but is clearly unworkable - or would lead to more problems than the exposure to supermums would. So instead I've opted for option two.
Thanks to those readers who made helpful points about them after my last post - I've taken those on board. The next encounter is scheduled for Thursday so I'll let you know how it goes!
The other big date in the diary this week is my last therapy session on Saturday. That's quite a daunting thought, and there have been a few moments this week when I've thought I should scrap that plan and book in a few more appointments.
But when I think about that rationally I can see it's just the thought of being on my own that is worrying me. And actually, I'm not. Okay, so after Saturday I may not have a monthly unloading session with a trained expert, but I will still have some great friends who often make the same points as she does.
And I will be £70 a month better off, and I will be able to access her if I feel the need to.
This is of course not a sudden, out of the blue decision - we've been talking about it since Christmas and we've worked up to Saturday by looking at more coping mechanisms and plans for the future.
But it is still worrying because I do feel there will be extra pressure on me from people thinking, 'Oh dear, perhaps she is still a bit too nuts and should go back to therapy...'. However, as I have learnt in therapy, that pressure actually comes from me and I need to use Wise Mind (which I always think of like Wise Owl...) to find the truth in a situation.
Anyway - enough deep stuff! For today's other news, did anyone else catch that programme with Vanessa Mae? It was about her considerable musical talent and whether it was down to nature or nurture. There was a lot of interesting scientific stuff in there but for me the main point came in a revealing quote from the violinist. She said: "I was always aware my mother's love was conditional..." and went on to say that although her mother said she loved her because she was her daughter, she was special because she could play the violin well and if she couldn't then she wouldn't be special.
They are now estranged, somewhat unsurprisingly. At least that's one mistake I hope not to make...

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