About Me

Kent, United Kingdom
I have the perfect family but still struggle to find the light in the darkness of post-natal depression.

Friday, 1 August 2008

overextended

It's a word I read in a book I have just finished, and it describes my life perfectly at the moment.
It's the kind of word I would previously have used to describe my knee - as in, it hurts because I overextended it - but in this case it means overcommitted or spread too thin, to use another great phrase.
I think half the problem here is that I'm no good at doing things in a half-hearted way. So work gets 100 per cent dedication (except perhaps when it's 100 degrees in the office and too hot to think!), and on days off so does everything else.
But with two days, not including weekends which are generally 100 per cent family time, it's hard to fit everything in.
I want to do fun things with Tash, I want to see my friends and I want to be a good friend. And I really shouldn't complain, but I have quite a few great friends which makes it a bit more complicated - if I had just two it would be fine!
One solution would be a monthly rota but that would all fall apart if someone had a crisis outside of their alloted time.
So instead I'm opting for the text and forward option. It's a real 21st century one - if I'm thinking about a friend I'll send them a forwarded email joke, or if they are very lucky a text. Luckily most of my friends are 21st century friends so they know this is code for saying I'm thinking about you and I'm here if you need me.
I hope they do, anyway!
Of course, with my good old self sacrifice schema it's hard to restrain myself from swooping in at times of crisis with casseroles and cakes but I'm relying on people to tell me if that what's they would like.
Which is actually quite a big step forward for me - and another solution to being overextended. So maybe there is still hope!
In other news, I noticed today that I feel most at ease with Tash when she does something clever, eg today she sat on her potty and read a whole book. Nothing ended up in the potty, and of course when I say read I mean looked at pictures, but it earned her lots of praise and me a fuzzy warm feeling of contentment. But when she was putting her feet on the table during dinner that rapidly evaporates.
I'm hoping that doesn't mean I'm going to end up giving her conditional love based on her achievements instead of for who she is.
Another thing to worry about!

2 comments:

Kate said...

Hello! Finally found my way here, sorry not to visit earlier. And much more sorry not to have asked about or noticed how you were doing. I will be asking from now on!

Can I put medical hat on for 2 minutes- just noticed an entry from June about anti-depressants and length of treatment, and you might know this already but the evidence supports continuing for six months to reduce the risk of replapse. This is from www.gpnotebook.co.uk (excellent evidence based resource)

"in both primary and secondary care, patients with depressive illness are being treated with antidepressants for longer

antidepressants should be continued for at least 6 months after remission of an episode of depression, because this greatly reduces the risk of relapse
when a patient has taken antidepressants for 6 months after remission, healthcare professionals should review with the patient the need for continued antidepressant treatment. This review should include consideration of the number of previous episodes, presence of residual symptoms, and concurrent psychosocial difficulties.

The dose of antidepressant, used during the period following remission, should be the same dose as used during the acute phase (2)

long-term maintenance therapy (on full treatment dose) has been shown to prevent recurrence of depressive illness in some hospital patients with severe recurrent depressive illness (2) - but this strategy has not been tested in primary care. At present, long-term maintenance therapy should only be initiated under the guidance of a psychiatrist

Reference:

NICE (April 2007). Management of depression in primary and secondary care.
Anderson IM et al (2000). Evidence-based guidelines for treating depressive disorders with antidepressants: a revision of the 1993 British Association for Psychopharmacology guidelines. J Psychopharmacol, 14, 3-20.
Drug and Therapeutics Bulletin 1999; 37 (7): 49-52."

Sorry, medical hat off now.

Lots of love
little sis xx

Sarajane said...

I'm not having a crisis, but always welcome casseroles, and even more so, cakes!