About Me

Kent, United Kingdom
I have the perfect family but still struggle to find the light in the darkness of post-natal depression.

Sunday, 6 July 2008

Girls v boys?

It's another grrrr moment today.
It shouldn't be, as we've had a great day so far and Tash has been impeccably behaved. But that sparked another Tash v Jake discussion with the inlaws.
As I mentioned last time, Mark and I are thinking about going away for a weekend - two nights - for our 10th anniversary. We've not got much further than thinking, and it's not just me who is hesitant.
But weekends away without Jake are a regular occurence in his household. When I expressed our feelings about leaving Tash, they seemed to fall on deaf ears and that old chestnut of Jake being "difficult" was raised again.
Apparently one of the reasons they like time away is to get a break from him because he is such hard work, whereas Tash is apparently an angel 24/7 so we have no need of it.
I tried to point out that while she is good a lot of the time she is also a normal 18 month old, who gets frustrated, angry and mischevious.
She likes to run around creating havoc and has a knack of picking those days when I need to get something done to be at her most troublesome.
I'm sure Jake is the same. And I'm sure his parents feel the same pressure we do to do things well and to be happy.
But these sort of comments really add to the pressure, for me at least.
Last time I mentioned this issue it was suggested that the differing opinions are not so much a reflection on my parenting, or theirs, or Tash or Jake's temperament, but a simple gender issue.
Boys are assumed to be difficult, while girls are assumed to be angels. So if boys play up the usual reaction is sympathy and understanding, while for girls' it's surprise.
If this is your reaction, please think again next time. All toddlers are hard work and just because Tash is a sociable, happy little thing (as is Jake), doesn't mean I don't struggle sometimes.
I'm not sure if any of this makes sense but getting it out here saved an argument with the inlaws so that's one good thing!

On the subject of differing opinions, did anyone else watch Britain's missing top model on BBC3? I thought it was really interesting and hopefully inspiring but it seems I may in a minority after reading several scathing reviews.You can find out about it here if you're interested and let me know what you think: http://www.bbc.co.uk/missingmodel/

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